Twitter is like evesdropping on inside jokes

Because I refuse to admit that I can't keep up with "Kids These Days", I have signed up with the social media mega giant TWITTER. That was, oh, five years ago, and I can barely understand it.

I've got selfies down pat

I get the concept. I know how to post what I'M doing, I even get hashtags! #notaloser I get what they were meant for AND I get what they've become...

... so what's the deal? I can't follow a tweeter for sheet. If I was only following one person and was reading the feed constantly, I'd be golden, but that's not what happens. To me this is what happens:

@awesomeperson tweets: THIS! #ihatethis and leaves it at that and SIMULTATIOUSLY people are retweeting this, commenting on it, and also random non-related tweets are thrown in. AND THEN people start responding to the replies and then the original tweet is lost and there is no frame of reference to what anyone is saying #wtfjusthappened.

My eyes turn into the swirling depths of the twilight zone and the 'whooo oooo whooo' sound plays through my head and I think "I'm too old for this!" 

I imagine those scenes in movies where the lonely telepath stands in the middle of  a city plaza with crowds of people passing all around... hands over ears... getting all giggle and cry-y over all the random thoughts going through their head that they can't keep straight. That's how I feel trying to read a twitter feed.

So, like I said a bajillion times, "Twitter is like an inside joke that you are not apart of."  You laugh because everyone else is laughing. You get irate because everyone else is pissed. You get whatever is happening, but if you stopped for just 15 seconds you'd realize... you were just confused. I mean, that is, unless you're one of the before mentioned "KTD" who still have enough room on each brain cell to keep track of that shit. #mybrainistired

So, I've mastered the selfie, and figured out (for the most part) Facebook #dontgetmestartedongoogle+ and have become hilariously amused by hashtags, but I am going to leave it up the kids to tweet. In fact, I'm going to have my 11 year old nephew tweet for me and I'll show him how to master fast forwarding cassette tapes to get to that song you want. #toosophisticatedforthis

I made a bed today!

I made my bed today.

That is pretty impressive in two ways. One I used to make my niece do it when she was 5... she thought it was riot! Now I just make her clean the litter boxes.

The second way is that what I'm really referring to is building a head and foot board for my king size mattress.   Back before I was completely grown up (about 3 years ago), I slept on a futon... for about 12 years. IT WAS A NICE ONE! really. it was.

The Point being, it had 'arms' that held all the bedding in. When I graduated to an adult mattress, I was flummoxed as to how to keep the dang bedspread from sliding off the end of the bed at night.  I got a dog and made her sleep on top of the bedspread to hold it down.   That worked pretty well... the cat moved around too much.

As I lay there at night,  I started to dream of bed frames. I had looked at the stores, but to no avail. They never had a King size one in stock, and though you could order one, they were usually $500 or more. Mostly more. I decided I wanted to make on from an old door. I had watched enough HGTV to know that if those yahoos on Design Star could do it... so could I!

Then we got rid of cable and started exclusively watching PBS (not 100% true, but close).  Doctor Who is awesome, but not really a interior design inspiration (except the looking bigger on the inside, part).  Then along came Pinterest and I was agog with ideas again. After trying some Pinterest disasters in the kitchen, I scaled back my expectations and reigned in my HGTV Yahoo ego. I asked my dad for help.

This summer my parents called me from a garage sale with one word: Doors.  I gathered my sister for design discussion and we went to take a look. They were not the doors I was I looking for.  HOWEVER, they were pretty cool. They were bifold sliding doors, solid wood. One set narrow (broom closet) and another set wide (bedroom closet). They had dark stain and were in good condition. $15.

My dad and I talked over breakfast and furiously drew on napkins. He schooled me a few times, and I insisted it would be fine on a few others. I bought extra parts and screws and brought the doors to my room where I discovered... the stain matched my other furniture perfectly. Not only that, the doors were the exact length needed for the width of the bed. This was going to be easy.

And it was! We put it together this weekend and the whole ensemble put me back a measly $50!

King size foot and head boards out of bi-fold doors... 

It was hard to get both the foot and the head board and show how much it matched my desk and dresser in one shot, but you get the idea.

Check one more thing off my list of things I said I was going to do and no one thought I really would.

Technobabble

Bleepity bloop! Ima Nerd! Every time I say that my friend Mikey the Crooner says "oh yeah, that's nothin" and proceeds to out nerd me to such a staggering degree, that I run home crying looking for comfort in hipster elitism and elite foodie hips. He really is the biggest nerd I know and he proves it by rubbing it in all the time (SQL this beta nerd! I really hope that was an insult). Anyway. I'm feeling nerdy and... ermm, lazy, because I am attempting to blog from my phone. I'm doing this because I love space, technology, and doing things tucked in with a cozy blanket and pillow. I love my phone because it reminds me of Star Trek and living in the Space Age promised to us as children. No doubt it would be easier to type this on a laptop (do people even have desktops anymore), but this is way cooler, even though I don't know how to add a pic. I know that kids these days do this all the time, but I'm not really a kid, and plus I try to fix my spelling and grammar. I think that is really what makes me a nerd more than anything. Plus I'd rather do this than knit… So it turns out the future isn't to terrible for my generation. We get cool gadgets and Nerds and their ilk or strangely popular. Neither of which was true for me 20 years ago. Hail to the Space Age! Hail to Tang! (oh those things aren't around anymore? But the astronaughts drank it? No astronaughts anymore? Shit, I think we just hit Gen XYZ s future. Stupid grunge bands).

What happened to the bran muffin?

Check out Chef Gaynols Bran Muffin Recipe

I remember the 1990s. Asymmetrical hair dos, flourescent green biker shorts, and biker caps worn askew. We were Fresh, like the prince of Bel Aire and when we felt like being healthy, we ate muffins That's right, muffins. Bran muffins to be exact. High in fiber, good for digestion, etc. the thing is, all that healthy mumbo jumbo ruined the bran muffin.

These days a muffin is an evil gluten sugar carbo bomb, not worthy of health food mention, and nary a bran muffin can be found. Have you ever had a bran muffin? A good one hot from the oven with butter melting into the crooks and crannys? One that is earthy and sweet with little bits of juicy sweet apple and raisins to surprise the palette with candy like glee? One that reminds you of the '90's, where you could get a bran muffin and not be looked at like you ordered the devil on a plate? I have.

Last month I came across a Perkins that still sold bran muffins and bought every single one they had left, and then when the waitress came and said she found more in the kitchen, I bought those too. I shared them with family and I got a migraine because they are made with evil wheat (which I have a "sensitivity too, must be because I'm an artist), but then my digestion was aided just like I remembered and all was good in the world.

Drinking Coffee since 1981

Check out this dudes landscapes made from coffee rings.

The G-Ma was a small town farming gal. There are stories of my grandparents sneaking across the border to Iowa to bring back Margerine in 10 lbs blocks. The dairy board had much influence in this state and margerine was illegal... but that's another post.  She served thick slices of tomato for lunch and coffee was always consumed hot and black.

When my sisters and I would visit, there was always the peculator going and the smell of coffee and cigarettes defined my childhood visits to Southern Minnesota.  She had the same coffee mugs my whole childhood. Thick brown mugs with tiny finger holes. These and two tiny white porcelain cups. Too large to be doll cups, and too finely made to be toys. Both these sets of mugs fascinated me during my childhood. The brown ones because of the thick glaze dripping from the the top. The feathery mixture of these mugs led me to start my own collection of Hull crockery.

Even more facinating were the tiny cups. To this day I do not know why she had these cups, or where she acquired them. My best guess is that they were espresso cups that she found a thrift store or garage sale. That in itself adds another layer of mystery. This was 'back in the day' people. What kind of farmers had espresso cups? They percolated their coffee for crying out loud... the worst possible way to make coffee.

If we pestered the G-ma enough, she would serve me or my sister or cousins what amounted to a 1/4 cup of bad midwestern coffee in these cups. My 6 year old brain could not figure out who would drink out of such small cups.

To this day I love coffee. Stong. Black. and in Small cups. 

The greatest revenge is to live well

That was my motto as I stuffed slurped down my coffee and refilled the trick or treat bag that I keep filled at the office every October... chocolate... dark chocolate... that I eat half of, by the end of the first week.

Maybe this sentiment was fueled by the soup I made last night. It was phenomenal. I made it up on the fly and I totally messed up a few things... but I fixed them, and, well, let's just say I was pleased. As I was standing in front of the stove, wiping up the mess, and putting the soup in containers to store (you know I'm having that soup for lunch today) I blurted out, "Cooking some good makes me so happy, especially when I pull it out of my butt." er, metaphorically speaking that is.  Then I was stunned for a minute as I was able to acknowledge happiness in my own kitchen. Happiness has been hard to find lately, but here it was with in easy reach. Today, I think I'm going to make french onion soup.

Here's to finding those happy moments, and holding on to them for a few moments before the rest of life distracts you. Live well, eat chocolate. Ride bike in your apron.

I came for the music, I stayed for the food.

Find more picks at The Heavy Table...  By the way, can you spot me in the above montage?  
photos by Natalie Champa Jennings

Soooo...

A few weeks ago it was penciled into my calendar was Rock The Garden 2011.

Have you noticed the weather lately?  If it's not 1000° F out side, a great tidal wave of God's tears are flowing down the road, into your basement, and all over your hair and makeup?  But, I digress.

It was penciled in to my calendar to attend this event, and it took great pains (by Jolleen at least) to get tickets. We had gone a couple of years ago to see Andrew Bird (swoon) and hadn't been able to get tickets again until this year.  I had heard of the bands playing, but I wasn't really into any of them... maybe Neko Case a little, but that was more tied to a dating infatuation of even longer ago so I wouldn't be too bummed about not going, if the weather was bad, but not bored if it was good.

I started driving the 2.5 hours to Jo's  house that morning when about half way through it started to rain.  Ugh! Rain! Annoying.  I was crossing my fingers that the rain would be over with by the time the show started, I do not like being uncomfortable at concerts. 45 minutes later I was camped out in a Target along I 35 waiting for the downpour to ease up so I could see the road, and waiting to hear the announcement the show was cancelled.  As I wandered from aisle to aisle, I think "If this rain ever stops... it's going to be a mud pit"

Light. Bulb.

Then I ran over to the shoe section and searched through the Rain boots. They had a really cute pair in kids sizes that I just could not get my feet into (I tried. Twice).  So, I bought the least ugly adult sized pair and headed out the door. The rain had cut back a bit and was at least drivable. Radio announcer guy says "ROCK THE GARDEN: RAIN OR SHINE" Good thing I bought those boots...

When I get to Jo's, the rain I left behind 50 miles ago, caught up with me and arrived in Minneapolis. It was coming down so hard I could hardly open my car door.  When I could creep out, I zoomed into the house and just looked at Jo.  Are we really going to do this?  I mean I don't like being wet.  I'm not into the bands.  And it's a DELUGE. She was wringing her hands because she really wanted to go, and she could tell I did not want to be wet.

We discussed the options and it came down to Jo was really looking forward to going, AND we paid good money for those tickets.  We would go. Unless there was a tornado or lightning, and then we wouldn't stay long. We devised rain gear (ponchos for them, i brought a trench coat) and a battle plan.

I in my rain gear and the gals in their new boots

After Katy arrived and we discussed matters, we noticed that the rain was letting up a little. The other girls praised me for my footwear choice and wished for their own Rubber boots.  "Well," one of us said, "we still have time... let's run to Tar-shjay and see if they have any left!" So we did.  They had 5 pair, and luckily the gals found two that fit... and they all matched.  

The official Rain Boot of RTG 2011

When we got to the event, and the pattering of rain was barely noticed in the mud and mist. We noticed were all the rain boots from Target ended up that day, along with the ponchos. I made it a side project to take pictures of all the different rain boots people wore... unfortunately my camera battery died in the middle of it. The music was playing, and we couldn't really sit down since the ground was wet, so we went from food stand to food stand eating and drinking our way through the day.

The tacos were great, the falafel was amazing... and the ice cream... Hagen Daaz... Oh and I'm not ashamed to say I had a fantastic corn dog. I want to go back, but no so much for the music, but to get to those food stands I missed. 

Yeah, the music was good. There are a trillion and one blogs out there to tell you all about it (where do you think I found the picture of me and my friends in the montage?) and I'm sure Jo was disappointed that I get bored easily standing in a crowd staring at someone signing, but the highlight of my day wasn't the bands, or hipsters, or standing the mud with 5000 other idiots... It was the corndog. Or the ice cream.  Or the look on Jo's face when she tried something she liked.  Or the conversation with Katy on why we were taking another picture of what we were about to never see again... our dinner. 

I think that's one of things I love about food, I love the eating and the talking about it and the taking of pictures and then maybe learning how to make it and eating it again with different (or the same!) friends... Food, like music, is easily shared and easily accessible on many levels... but food holds my interest much longer, and even though it's technically rude, you can still talk to each other while your eating. 

.

Bugged Eyed!

 \/ \/ \/ These are my sunglasses

 (and that is my awesome dog, daisy!)  

My sunglasses are HU-GE!

I wear them Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring.  Running down streets, riding in boats, skiing down hills, swimming in the ocean...

On Mexican vacations... both of them... that were 3 years a part.... 

In family pictures...

They are fugly to the extreme, and they only cost me $12 or so... but they cover all around my eyes and keep the sun from glaring and my sophisticated laugh lines from forming....

It's entirely probable I will be wearing these same sunglasses 20 years from now and the trendsetters will be trying to buy them off of me because they're so 'sophisticated'. 

Bug Eyed: It's how we do it in Howktown.

Why yes, I did eat half a pan of brownies for dinner.

I always thought that I would reach middle age and not fall for the chocolate trap. Boy was I wrong.

I'll admit, I was swayed by the picture.

 

It just looks so rich and decadent.  I think I convinced my self I was getting this:

Spoon River Flourless Chocolate Cake

I was silly.

Anyway, the brownies did taste good. They were chocolaty and rich and gooey... but I couldn't get them out of the pan.. even though they were completely cooled.  They just stuck to the fork. When I picked them up, they fell apart. That was annoying. In no way was it a satisfying brownie eating experience. 

That didn't stop me from eating half a pan for dinner, though. I only stopped because my sister and my parents were looking at me a little strange. Plus, I let them have some, so I could really eat the whole pan AND share. Good chocolate goo eating experience? Yes.

I'm going to have to go to Spoon River soon.

Brownie Life Improvement Plan

So, I've been on this diet. Well, let me rephrase that... I've made a life style change that involves not eating every loaf of bread, topped with donuts, wheat thins, and sugary crumbles that I see.  More fiber, less sugar.  More fiber, less carbs. More fiber, less refined, processed, pre-packaged foods.  And so far, it's working out pretty good for the balancing out the blood sugars and chronic fatigue part of the plan.

However, I've noticed that I've been seriously lacking in the Brownie department.  Now, I've discovered that I can eat one square of ultra dark chocolate (coupled with black coffee and few almonds!) and almost get the same effect and still stay low carb/sugar... but it frankly is not a brownie.

SO! While walking through the store aimlessly to let the food choose me,  This box of brownie mix jumped into my hand (funny how that happened).  The box is sitting in my car waiting for me to get home and bake it up and then eat it all up.  At first, I felt a little guilty. Then I realized, my plan need a name. If a plan has a name, then it's official.  There is no questioning official business!

The Brownie Life Improvement Plan will commence at the completion of the Brownie Baking League inaugural bake off... which will probably end up being sometime around 10:30 at night considering my work schedule today.

I've never had this mix before, so I'll have to let you know how it goes.  Until then... Eat brownies, my friends.

 

That's where I'm going to be in a  month.

Time to start the Tequila Reinstatement Program. That's a long and arduous process that acclimates one body to Margaritas for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Next it will be the "I won't be caught dead in those capri pants from 2003" buyers program. This might have to be a daily regimen of online shopping to make sure I have enough dresses to fulfill my other goal of "never wearing ass fattening shorts again".

So far so good on that end...  Online shopping has never really been a problem for me... well, if you by problem you mean 'can't figure it out'.

So, as we sit here with the -10 degree windchill in F%*&$ March... I'll dream of you Cancun and when we meet, I'll be prepared!

Let's just hope my passport gets here in time.

Happy New Year! Say Hi to Your Mother for Me.

Ala Cuisine! Kylie and I kill time at HyVee waiting for the Manager to fix the register after my New Year's Party Purchases seem to break its resolve...

While the Howktown is a fairly happenin' place, the exact location of it is situated in the middle of... nowhere.  It is rare that I get out of town visitors that aren't related to me in some way. I tried the convincing, cajoling, bribery in the past to no avail...


Maybe it was because the last party I had I invited every friend I had and expected everyone to get along... One trip to the emergency room later and I was asking myself "what exactly where you thinking, Howk?" Most likely I was thinking my eclectic taste is friends was shared by all and they would find just being in Howktown enough to get past their differences... besides I'd made them a 5 course meal all by myself! That was 5 years ago... Cest la Vie!
That is until this year! The guest list was pared down to just the college girlfriends and included pizza and drinks and watching you tube videos of Mark Wahlberg Talking to Animals. Now Jo Jo Potato and N.O.H. had been down since then, but this was the first time that the 4 of us had been together in Howktown... ever! I was a bit excited.

The Czarina gave me the Pioneer Woman cookbook for Christmas and we decided to try out her Potato Leek Pizza, as well as two others of our own making. All yummy. The pizza dough recipe was fantastic. Easy to make, easy to use, and tasted great.  I haven't made enough of the recipes yet to give this book a thorough review, but the two I've tried have been pretty freakin' awesome.

Cute and good with eggs!

I had homemade bloody Marys waiting for my friends when they arrived.  I figured I'd have to spoil them to remind them how awesome Howktown really is (it is actually known as The Fun House by a certain 8 year old visitor).  After the pizza, and the Marys, we headed down stairs. I had intended to get them all dancin' but we ended up talking and mixing drinks.  We ended up talking and laughing (and sometimes crying) all night; the best part of a Pajama Party anyway!

That's homemade bread, sisters.

The next day, my personal chef made us all omelets, while I made French Press style coffee for everyone. Mostly because Deb thought it was weird that her coworker had a french press in his cube. ;)

Now I'm going to talk to a goat. Hey Goat, nice beard.

Happy New Year from the Queen of Howktown and her Personal Chef and Consort.

You may call me: Multi Faceted.

Yoink! Too Late: SOLD

 

 

I have a terrible time writing quick bios, resumes, and generally telling people what I do. Honestly, where do I begin? I do a little bit of everything. 

I've been to school twice, I've changed careers three times, and I own my own business. You'd think I'd be tired (oh, I am) and not be able to try another project (I just can't stop myself).

Having a business and an art degree doesn't leave a lot of time for large pieces of art to be made, but I've somehow found some time to make a few things. I convinced myself if I had a shop to sell them in, I would be more motivated to finish art projects in a timely matter. Well... maybe not timely, but finished none the less.

So I set up my Etsy shop and put the two best items in. There you go.

So, go check it out... but we warned... I've already sold the bracelet... that I had to pry out of my sister's hand, she wanted to keep it so badly.  SkaDOOSH! (I guess I better take it off now).

More stuff to come at: RE-Loved

You'll find me in the Inglenook

You know,  I don't really have a fireplace to curl up by, but that's not going to keep me away from my inglenook. That's because I've named my new birthday present Ingle. 

I debated for weeks on whether to go for the Nook by Barnes and Noble or the Kindle by Amazon. They both have great features listed on the the website, and When I went to Target to pick up the Kindle, it felt good in my hand. At least I think so, I had to brace myself against the floor and pull to release the anti theft cord thingy enough so I could actually get a damn look at the thing.  Then they didn't actually have a working one so you could play with it outside of the demo. I was disappointed in that, but after picking up the Nook, I still liked the feel of the Kindle better. I was already to buy the Kindle, too. 

That is until, the Czarina of Saarisburg informed me, "I'm getting a Nook!"  Her reasons were that she could check out library books on a Nook.  You can also share books (for a limited time) that you buy with your friend on a Nook.  That had me sold. To me part of the joy of reading is passing the book along to someone else to enjoy!

The two of us hatched up a great plan, my nephew's school sells Gift Certificates for Scrip (it's complicated, but its a fundraiser basically) and we could get B&N gift cards. YES! Let's gently maim two birds with one lightly padded rock!  We waltz into the school office with cash in hand, enough for two Nooks and ask for the GC. One problem... they only have 2 - $25 left and the rest are all $10s..... 24 gift cards later we waltz (RUN more likely) home to order them online! 

Kylie gets home first and tries it out! She calls in a panic! We can only use 3 cards at a time online! Drat! A few phone calls later and a last minute late night run to Mankato (an hour away) we have our Nooks in hand. The gal told Kylie "We take what ever you have to pay us with and we have plenty of them in stock, so if you came into the store you can walk out with it Today. We close at 9."

We giggled as I had to run each and every GC myself in their card reader, but every single one was accepted.  

I wasn't sure when I got home how I would like reading from an eReader. I was used to buying books at library book sales and garage sales. We passed around books like we passed the pepper at dinner.  After I got used to the ins and outs, and finding out you could name the thing (mine is Ingle) I have read more in the last month than I have in the last 6 months. The book is always there, it always fits in my purse, and I always remember what the cover looks like. If I finish the book and want to read the sequel, I download it and keep reading, no looking at the library, or the poor excuse for book selection we have in town. 

My thoughts, so far so good. I'd like to see a few improvements in the speed of page turning, and the web browser is pretty much useless. It takes so long for the screen to respond you could running the local library, use their free computers, and get the information you need by the time you are done typingi in the web address.... but that's what I have a lap top for. This thing is for reading books, and in that respect, I am pleased with it!

Plus now I can show it off in book club. 

The Privaledge of Royalty

"As decreed by the Cucumber!" Watercolor - Queen of Howktown adapted from
Coloring book shared with a 5 year old.

As Queen of Howktown, one of my favorite duties is the decree. I find it quite fullfilling to make announcements and then sign off 'as decreed by _____'. It makes me silly happy.

Why, just last week I brought in a big ol' bowl of watermelon to work and decreed that it was for one and all! Though, actually,  I took a picture that I had colored (with my niece) of a cucumber dressed up as king and had him decree it. It was his turn.

Anyhow. It got me in the mood to declare a few more things that I feel need to be mentioned. For example, I decided that the Czarina of Saarisburg Totally Wears Hats. Why? Well, you know the Target Ad? The one where she decides she totally wears hats? That's what Kylie and I did at Target before we even saw that ad... with the SAME HAT that is in the commercial.  She totally wears hats. I totally wear hats. In fact, I decree that on October 2nd... WE ALL totally wear hats.





I have also decided it is The Year of Hotel Stays, Iowa Road Trips = Tornadoes, and Almonds are Awesome. (I think I might make Oct 1st Grey Goose Martini Appreciation Day, as well)

Have a nice TRIP!

Source: Here

So there is this rumor going around that I, The Queen of Howktown, am... less than graceful. I have always fought this idea. Things just... happen to me. I swear!

Just the other day, as I was lightly jogging across the soft grassy soccer fields in my dress pants and frilly black pumps, racing to get a photo for the newspaper before the light was lost for the evening, my right leg decided to twist and I subsequently did a wonderful ballerina like spin and fall onto the turf! It was a graceful fall that had me on my ass in 2.5 seconds, though it felt as though it was 30 minutes of falling.  Don't worry, the pictures were taken and I got three in the paper that night.

While I was at the chiropractor's office the next day demonstrating my latest and greatest dance move, complete with a quick little jogging demonstration (yes, I actually re-enacted the jogging in the Dr. office, she needed the whole picture!) the good doctor started giggling!

"What's so funny?"
"Oh, nothing... well, you. You're always having these accidents. I was just remembering the bike tires..."
"Oh, yeah, I forgot about those"
"Both of them blowing with in 20 minutes, scaring Amy (Age 4) from riding bikes"

Yes, that was funny. I decided to go on a bike ride with my sister and niece and my tire needed a little air. The tire looked a little dry and cracked, but I thought it was okay. I filled up the tires and went on my way... for about five seconds when my back tire blew. We called my dad to come pick me up and haul the bike home, when as we were lifting the bike into the truck, the front tire blew in my hands and rubber whipped my legs with the force of 65ppi escaping as fast as it can. Hilarious.

Being reminded of my 'accidents' gets me simultaneously riled up with indignation and hysterically laughing at the fixes I get myself in. The most famous being shutting my foot in the trunk of my car... with a box in my hand and being unable to move for 3 minutes.  Yes, the tip of my foot, mostly my shoe, was caught in the lid of the truck as I slammed it down getting a heavy item from the trunk. I was using my legs to lift goshdarnit! That's what you're supposed to do! Sheesh.

I asked two my best friends this last weekend if they agreed with this Odd Accident Prone status. It's not everyday accident prone, or even clumsy, klutzy, or sloppy. Odd accidents with luckily no serious injury happen to me. Like the time I got stuck in the turnstile at the train station. That was bad timing to be sure. Walking closely behind my friend, already part way into the turn, I put my fare card in, walked forward, took the card out before the turnstile was activated for 'my turn' and it locked me one leg in, one leg out, unable to go backward or forward until I re-inserted my card. Luckily I only bruised my pride, and didn't lose a fare.. but we did miss the train we were trying to catch and had to wait for the next.

My friends, just laughed and said yes. They didn't offer up and evidence mind you, just flat out agreed. They couldn't keep track of the dropping of ice cream pints on my feet in stores, tossing pencils in the air and having them land literally IN my hand (I still have the lead mark to prove it... 8 years later), hitting my head on various parts of my car, or other peoples bumpers, or office furniture attacking me.

Even so, I still contest it is because I'm "accident prone" or "graceless", I think I just attract amusing situations. That's it.

Now watch your head, that ceiling is a dosey.


UPDATE: I recently remembered the day I punched myself in the face when I sneezed.  What do you remember?

Return of the Cake

Remember when I went gaga for chocolate cake?

Well, JoJo decided for her birthday she wanted to get some of that cake. She didn't say it that way at first. First she said, "Let's go to Spoonriver".  To which i replied in song "Spppoooonnn riiiiiiveeerrrr, where the chocolate cake is sooo divviiiiineeee. I'll make you all minnne"

Then she said, "I'm getting my own this time."

That's a great idea we all thought. So we all got the chocolate cake. This time it came with a mango sorbet, which was also delicious... though I think the blueberry may have been better.

There were nine of us there and we all extolled the virtues of the cake... and the the two who decided to be rebels and order something different soon wished for a small taste of what we had in front of us.

But wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. We first had dinner. I choose to go for something different this time. And went for the crab salad in a avocado. Very light and refreshing. It went well with my Moroccan Mojito and saved plenty of room for chocolate cake!

We then hoofed on over to the Guthrie and made sure to catch a view of the city from their observation deck.

Considering it was 1000° and humid we didn't stay up there too long and we headed back to Jo's patio.

Somehow Jo and I ended up being up until 5 am without even realizing it. Too bad I had to get up early to head home for a Howk Family Reunion... Not So Much.

I made it, but it wasn't pretty.

Happy Bday to my BFF Jo and thanks again for letting us have our cake and eat it, too!

Oh, and I just want to mention that I have worn a dress at least 3 times this summer (each one different), something girly is happening to me.

Nightlife in Saarisburg

Welcome back to the wonderful land we call Saarisburg. In this episode, we will investigate the nightlife of the area's most celebrity family, the Saaris.

In your mind, see visions of bright lights and groggy mornings. In fact, here is a recent example, right down to the minute:

10:30 p.m. — Czar and Czarina of Saarisburg agree to call it a night. This triggers a sometimes aggravating response in the Czar. I call it, talking time. Despite the light-blocking eye mask firmly around the head of the Czarina, the Czar yammers away, asking such urgent questions as, "What you would do with $100,000" and commentary, such as "my finger hurts."

11:30 p.m. — After nearly an hour, Czarina convinces him it is time to cash out, and does so accordingly.

12:58 a.m. — A random alarm set on Czar's watch begins its incessant beeping. After waking the sedated Czar, he fumbles around until he finally gets the thing turned off.

1:49 a.m. — Czarina is awoken by a stomping and whining child, who needs her sheets changed. Nothing to blame her for, happens to the best of us. Child insists overhead lights must be turned on during sheet/pajama changing.

1:53 a.m. — Child returned to bed, Czarina returns to bed.

2:10 a.m. — Child comes stomping into bedroom, mad as a hornet she is expected to sleep in her own bed. After more stomping, Czarina convinces child to lay down on the floor — no, not in my bed — on the floor. Yes, on the floor or in her bed.

2:10 — 3:06 a.m. — Trying in vain to return to sleep after the stomping incident of earlier. Can't get country western song, "Riding the Navajo Trail" out of her head, Czarina vows to throw out the western CD given to boy-child by well meaning grandparents.

6 a.m. — Child wakes, realizing she is in Czarina'a room, she decides everyone should be awake.

The day begins.

Total sleeping time: 3.5 hours.

Total time trying to sleep 8 hours.

Join us for another fascinating look inside the life of the Czarina of Saarisburg, next time, at the Rubdown in Howktown.

Bwhahahaha

Well, it turns out I have successfully inflicted the younger one with macitits. It's true. I have donated all my used Mac computers to the cause.  I've donated equally on the either side of sisterdom, and today as I sit using my kid sister's sparkling new iMac, my fingers typing gleefully at it's tiny keyboard, I know my job is done....

"Did you know this thing can take pictures of me?"

Indeed... in fact let's try it out. Hold on a sec.

Yup. It's true. It will take pictures of us if we aren't too careful. Neat huh.
Now, she claims this is for business purposes. I'm so sure, just because she is a writer and needs something to write on. Whatev. I think it's because she wants to be as cool as her big sister.

Well, maybe she's killing two birds with one stone.  Anywho, you can see that she and I are both staying very productive taking pictures and picking out new blog backgrounds all in the name of our professional careers.

There will be a new header sometime soon, too. Though I've been saying that for months now.

Oh wait, I was going to tell you about the tornados. They blew.

Them's the haps, peeps.

The Right Now

The Right Now
Originally uploaded by playbsides

Photo By Michael Roeder - The Right Now

Bazing!

In my second tornado chasing weekend in a row, The Queen of Howktown pops in on old friends from Chi-town and left with few more friends and a different impression of Iowa. Mostly, don't go there unless my profession is officially changed to tornado chaser.

Update to come, so stay tuned!