Brownie Life Improvement Plan

So, I've been on this diet. Well, let me rephrase that... I've made a life style change that involves not eating every loaf of bread, topped with donuts, wheat thins, and sugary crumbles that I see.  More fiber, less sugar.  More fiber, less carbs. More fiber, less refined, processed, pre-packaged foods.  And so far, it's working out pretty good for the balancing out the blood sugars and chronic fatigue part of the plan.

However, I've noticed that I've been seriously lacking in the Brownie department.  Now, I've discovered that I can eat one square of ultra dark chocolate (coupled with black coffee and few almonds!) and almost get the same effect and still stay low carb/sugar... but it frankly is not a brownie.

SO! While walking through the store aimlessly to let the food choose me,  This box of brownie mix jumped into my hand (funny how that happened).  The box is sitting in my car waiting for me to get home and bake it up and then eat it all up.  At first, I felt a little guilty. Then I realized, my plan need a name. If a plan has a name, then it's official.  There is no questioning official business!

The Brownie Life Improvement Plan will commence at the completion of the Brownie Baking League inaugural bake off... which will probably end up being sometime around 10:30 at night considering my work schedule today.

I've never had this mix before, so I'll have to let you know how it goes.  Until then... Eat brownies, my friends.

 

That's where I'm going to be in a  month.

Time to start the Tequila Reinstatement Program. That's a long and arduous process that acclimates one body to Margaritas for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Next it will be the "I won't be caught dead in those capri pants from 2003" buyers program. This might have to be a daily regimen of online shopping to make sure I have enough dresses to fulfill my other goal of "never wearing ass fattening shorts again".

So far so good on that end...  Online shopping has never really been a problem for me... well, if you by problem you mean 'can't figure it out'.

So, as we sit here with the -10 degree windchill in F%*&$ March... I'll dream of you Cancun and when we meet, I'll be prepared!

Let's just hope my passport gets here in time.

Happy New Year! Say Hi to Your Mother for Me.

Ala Cuisine! Kylie and I kill time at HyVee waiting for the Manager to fix the register after my New Year's Party Purchases seem to break its resolve...

While the Howktown is a fairly happenin' place, the exact location of it is situated in the middle of... nowhere.  It is rare that I get out of town visitors that aren't related to me in some way. I tried the convincing, cajoling, bribery in the past to no avail...


Maybe it was because the last party I had I invited every friend I had and expected everyone to get along... One trip to the emergency room later and I was asking myself "what exactly where you thinking, Howk?" Most likely I was thinking my eclectic taste is friends was shared by all and they would find just being in Howktown enough to get past their differences... besides I'd made them a 5 course meal all by myself! That was 5 years ago... Cest la Vie!
That is until this year! The guest list was pared down to just the college girlfriends and included pizza and drinks and watching you tube videos of Mark Wahlberg Talking to Animals. Now Jo Jo Potato and N.O.H. had been down since then, but this was the first time that the 4 of us had been together in Howktown... ever! I was a bit excited.

The Czarina gave me the Pioneer Woman cookbook for Christmas and we decided to try out her Potato Leek Pizza, as well as two others of our own making. All yummy. The pizza dough recipe was fantastic. Easy to make, easy to use, and tasted great.  I haven't made enough of the recipes yet to give this book a thorough review, but the two I've tried have been pretty freakin' awesome.

Cute and good with eggs!

I had homemade bloody Marys waiting for my friends when they arrived.  I figured I'd have to spoil them to remind them how awesome Howktown really is (it is actually known as The Fun House by a certain 8 year old visitor).  After the pizza, and the Marys, we headed down stairs. I had intended to get them all dancin' but we ended up talking and mixing drinks.  We ended up talking and laughing (and sometimes crying) all night; the best part of a Pajama Party anyway!

That's homemade bread, sisters.

The next day, my personal chef made us all omelets, while I made French Press style coffee for everyone. Mostly because Deb thought it was weird that her coworker had a french press in his cube. ;)

Now I'm going to talk to a goat. Hey Goat, nice beard.

Happy New Year from the Queen of Howktown and her Personal Chef and Consort.

You may call me: Multi Faceted.

Yoink! Too Late: SOLD

 

 

I have a terrible time writing quick bios, resumes, and generally telling people what I do. Honestly, where do I begin? I do a little bit of everything. 

I've been to school twice, I've changed careers three times, and I own my own business. You'd think I'd be tired (oh, I am) and not be able to try another project (I just can't stop myself).

Having a business and an art degree doesn't leave a lot of time for large pieces of art to be made, but I've somehow found some time to make a few things. I convinced myself if I had a shop to sell them in, I would be more motivated to finish art projects in a timely matter. Well... maybe not timely, but finished none the less.

So I set up my Etsy shop and put the two best items in. There you go.

So, go check it out... but we warned... I've already sold the bracelet... that I had to pry out of my sister's hand, she wanted to keep it so badly.  SkaDOOSH! (I guess I better take it off now).

More stuff to come at: RE-Loved

You'll find me in the Inglenook

You know,  I don't really have a fireplace to curl up by, but that's not going to keep me away from my inglenook. That's because I've named my new birthday present Ingle. 

I debated for weeks on whether to go for the Nook by Barnes and Noble or the Kindle by Amazon. They both have great features listed on the the website, and When I went to Target to pick up the Kindle, it felt good in my hand. At least I think so, I had to brace myself against the floor and pull to release the anti theft cord thingy enough so I could actually get a damn look at the thing.  Then they didn't actually have a working one so you could play with it outside of the demo. I was disappointed in that, but after picking up the Nook, I still liked the feel of the Kindle better. I was already to buy the Kindle, too. 

That is until, the Czarina of Saarisburg informed me, "I'm getting a Nook!"  Her reasons were that she could check out library books on a Nook.  You can also share books (for a limited time) that you buy with your friend on a Nook.  That had me sold. To me part of the joy of reading is passing the book along to someone else to enjoy!

The two of us hatched up a great plan, my nephew's school sells Gift Certificates for Scrip (it's complicated, but its a fundraiser basically) and we could get B&N gift cards. YES! Let's gently maim two birds with one lightly padded rock!  We waltz into the school office with cash in hand, enough for two Nooks and ask for the GC. One problem... they only have 2 - $25 left and the rest are all $10s..... 24 gift cards later we waltz (RUN more likely) home to order them online! 

Kylie gets home first and tries it out! She calls in a panic! We can only use 3 cards at a time online! Drat! A few phone calls later and a last minute late night run to Mankato (an hour away) we have our Nooks in hand. The gal told Kylie "We take what ever you have to pay us with and we have plenty of them in stock, so if you came into the store you can walk out with it Today. We close at 9."

We giggled as I had to run each and every GC myself in their card reader, but every single one was accepted.  

I wasn't sure when I got home how I would like reading from an eReader. I was used to buying books at library book sales and garage sales. We passed around books like we passed the pepper at dinner.  After I got used to the ins and outs, and finding out you could name the thing (mine is Ingle) I have read more in the last month than I have in the last 6 months. The book is always there, it always fits in my purse, and I always remember what the cover looks like. If I finish the book and want to read the sequel, I download it and keep reading, no looking at the library, or the poor excuse for book selection we have in town. 

My thoughts, so far so good. I'd like to see a few improvements in the speed of page turning, and the web browser is pretty much useless. It takes so long for the screen to respond you could running the local library, use their free computers, and get the information you need by the time you are done typingi in the web address.... but that's what I have a lap top for. This thing is for reading books, and in that respect, I am pleased with it!

Plus now I can show it off in book club. 

The Privaledge of Royalty

"As decreed by the Cucumber!" Watercolor - Queen of Howktown adapted from
Coloring book shared with a 5 year old.

As Queen of Howktown, one of my favorite duties is the decree. I find it quite fullfilling to make announcements and then sign off 'as decreed by _____'. It makes me silly happy.

Why, just last week I brought in a big ol' bowl of watermelon to work and decreed that it was for one and all! Though, actually,  I took a picture that I had colored (with my niece) of a cucumber dressed up as king and had him decree it. It was his turn.

Anyhow. It got me in the mood to declare a few more things that I feel need to be mentioned. For example, I decided that the Czarina of Saarisburg Totally Wears Hats. Why? Well, you know the Target Ad? The one where she decides she totally wears hats? That's what Kylie and I did at Target before we even saw that ad... with the SAME HAT that is in the commercial.  She totally wears hats. I totally wear hats. In fact, I decree that on October 2nd... WE ALL totally wear hats.





I have also decided it is The Year of Hotel Stays, Iowa Road Trips = Tornadoes, and Almonds are Awesome. (I think I might make Oct 1st Grey Goose Martini Appreciation Day, as well)

Have a nice TRIP!

Source: Here

So there is this rumor going around that I, The Queen of Howktown, am... less than graceful. I have always fought this idea. Things just... happen to me. I swear!

Just the other day, as I was lightly jogging across the soft grassy soccer fields in my dress pants and frilly black pumps, racing to get a photo for the newspaper before the light was lost for the evening, my right leg decided to twist and I subsequently did a wonderful ballerina like spin and fall onto the turf! It was a graceful fall that had me on my ass in 2.5 seconds, though it felt as though it was 30 minutes of falling.  Don't worry, the pictures were taken and I got three in the paper that night.

While I was at the chiropractor's office the next day demonstrating my latest and greatest dance move, complete with a quick little jogging demonstration (yes, I actually re-enacted the jogging in the Dr. office, she needed the whole picture!) the good doctor started giggling!

"What's so funny?"
"Oh, nothing... well, you. You're always having these accidents. I was just remembering the bike tires..."
"Oh, yeah, I forgot about those"
"Both of them blowing with in 20 minutes, scaring Amy (Age 4) from riding bikes"

Yes, that was funny. I decided to go on a bike ride with my sister and niece and my tire needed a little air. The tire looked a little dry and cracked, but I thought it was okay. I filled up the tires and went on my way... for about five seconds when my back tire blew. We called my dad to come pick me up and haul the bike home, when as we were lifting the bike into the truck, the front tire blew in my hands and rubber whipped my legs with the force of 65ppi escaping as fast as it can. Hilarious.

Being reminded of my 'accidents' gets me simultaneously riled up with indignation and hysterically laughing at the fixes I get myself in. The most famous being shutting my foot in the trunk of my car... with a box in my hand and being unable to move for 3 minutes.  Yes, the tip of my foot, mostly my shoe, was caught in the lid of the truck as I slammed it down getting a heavy item from the trunk. I was using my legs to lift goshdarnit! That's what you're supposed to do! Sheesh.

I asked two my best friends this last weekend if they agreed with this Odd Accident Prone status. It's not everyday accident prone, or even clumsy, klutzy, or sloppy. Odd accidents with luckily no serious injury happen to me. Like the time I got stuck in the turnstile at the train station. That was bad timing to be sure. Walking closely behind my friend, already part way into the turn, I put my fare card in, walked forward, took the card out before the turnstile was activated for 'my turn' and it locked me one leg in, one leg out, unable to go backward or forward until I re-inserted my card. Luckily I only bruised my pride, and didn't lose a fare.. but we did miss the train we were trying to catch and had to wait for the next.

My friends, just laughed and said yes. They didn't offer up and evidence mind you, just flat out agreed. They couldn't keep track of the dropping of ice cream pints on my feet in stores, tossing pencils in the air and having them land literally IN my hand (I still have the lead mark to prove it... 8 years later), hitting my head on various parts of my car, or other peoples bumpers, or office furniture attacking me.

Even so, I still contest it is because I'm "accident prone" or "graceless", I think I just attract amusing situations. That's it.

Now watch your head, that ceiling is a dosey.


UPDATE: I recently remembered the day I punched myself in the face when I sneezed.  What do you remember?