Stop Touching Things

"Miss! you can't touch the artwork..."
"He means you, too, G-ma"

Monday, February 22, 2010

Howktown Patriot

You may have figured out that here in Howktown, we aren't too concerned with sports. Wait, maybe you didn't figure that out, because you don't live here, but you may have noticed a complete lack of mention of them.

You might not be too surprised to learn that I also support public radio. Crazy, I know. It's not because I'm a communist, either. It's because I'm an American!

Which is also why I love the Olympics!

I knew you were wondering how I could tie public radio with sports.

Here in the Mental State of Hilarity, we beam in public radio from Minnesota Public Radio, and I have to say, it is some quality programing. I particularly like the weekend shows that combine news and comedy. It sure beats reading the newspaper (oh wait, maybe I shouldn't have said that... my sister is a reporter). Plus, it's funded by the people to listen to it! More on that later.

Also, I don't really watch much of the Olympics, but it's a whole lot more than I do of any other sport, and I am actually interested in the results. I want AMERICA to win. I want all of our hard work, high taxes, and blustery politicians to worth the effort and I want the proof to be shown in our sportsmanship, athletic ability, and smiling faces.

Plus, I've always wanted to raise an Olympian... I better get on that.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy Valentine's Day if you want it to be, I guess. Hey a Squirrel!

Okay, so there are a lot of opinions about Valentine's Day out there, from the "Plan my life around it" types, to the "Remind everyone why you think it is evil" types. Some people say, "I don't need a holiday to tell my spouse I love them" and other say "If you don't get me a present, I'll divorce you".  

Here in Howktown we believe in not taking everything so seriously. Here's the thing, I like chocolate. I like chocolate enough to MAKE UP holidays to buy it, give it, and more importantly... eat it. It is a super food after all. Why would I turned down the culturally sanctioned holiday dedicated to chocolate?

Second, I know that we all like to think that we don't need reminders to do things, but if that were true we wouldn't have alarm clocks and calendars. That's awesome if you remember every single day to point out everything you love about your spouse in a meaningful way. Me, I get distracted by ... HEY SQUIRREL!

What was I saying? Anyway. I don't think you need to plan beyond your means, or even doing anything 'noteworthy' beyond maybe an extra tight hug.  I certainly don't need you to go to Jared's unless that is the only thing you want to get.  Did I mention I like Chocolate? Dark Chocolate. The Superfood?

Oh, lest you think I don't understand the singlers v-day plight? Considering my age, and the number of people that I've dated, I had three V-days with a boyfriend worth noting.  The first, I got two speeding tickets in 15 minutes. The guy cancelled plans at the last minute. We'd been dating for months.  All the other times I was single or freshly dumped. I didn't give up on love, though. I still was getting valentine's day cards from my parents and if I was at home, a chocolate bar at the breakfast table from my dad.

The other notable VDay was 5 years later after the speeding tickets and was very sweet. It was the first 'real' valentine's day I'd ever had. It changed my outlook on the whole day. That it didn't have to be about money and presents (or even chocolate). 

The third was again, 5 years later, and this year.  D convinced me to try playing his online adventure game, which I agreed to finally because it was something that we could do together as a team.  We went to Korthos island, killed some zombies, rescued some villiages, and he bought me a really cool sword that cost way more than any diamond ring. 

So folks, I love ya. Don't fret V-day, cause here in Howktown, it's just an excuse to get hugs and chocolate, and we don't really need that around here, but we're not going to pass it up either. 

Monday, February 8, 2010

Massage! Wha Whoo!

Here's the haps, people.  I have confirmed that I am a genius.  I decided that I was going to get a massage a week for the month February.  Best decision I ever made and I'm only 3 massages in, and I have 3 to go.

Wha? How's that math work? There are only 4 weeks in Feb and that's six massages. Well, that's what they call New Math in the Street Smarts department. Or maybe, when it comes to massages, that's how math works in Howktown....

In reality, I made this decision in January and couldn't wait for February to start. AND  I reasoned Feb technically moves into a 5 week month, because the 28th is on a Sunday... so that counts, right.

Where does the number six come in? Well my darlings, the universe provided my deepest wish to get massaged as much as possible this month and I received a trade offer from a therapist that I hadn't planned on! BONUS!

Not to get all 80's on you... but I'm totally stoked.

If you want to read all about it in detail, visit my business website blog at