|Yoink! Too Late: SOLD|
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
|"As decreed by the Cucumber!" Watercolor - Queen of Howktown adapted from |
Coloring book shared with a 5 year old.
As Queen of Howktown, one of my favorite duties is the decree. I find it quite fullfilling to make announcements and then sign off 'as decreed by _____'. It makes me silly happy.
Why, just last week I brought in a big ol' bowl of watermelon to work and decreed that it was for one and all! Though, actually, I took a picture that I had colored (with my niece) of a cucumber dressed up as king and had him decree it. It was his turn.
Anyhow. It got me in the mood to declare a few more things that I feel need to be mentioned. For example, I decided that the Czarina of Saarisburg Totally Wears Hats. Why? Well, you know the Target Ad? The one where she decides she totally wears hats? That's what Kylie and I did at Target before we even saw that ad... with the SAME HAT that is in the commercial. She totally wears hats. I totally wear hats. In fact, I decree that on October 2nd... WE ALL totally wear hats.
I have also decided it is The Year of Hotel Stays, Iowa Road Trips = Tornadoes, and Almonds are Awesome. (I think I might make Oct 1st Grey Goose Martini Appreciation Day, as well)
Friday, August 13, 2010
So there is this rumor going around that I, The Queen of Howktown, am... less than graceful. I have always fought this idea. Things just... happen to me. I swear!
Just the other day, as I was lightly jogging across the soft grassy soccer fields in my dress pants and frilly black pumps, racing to get a photo for the newspaper before the light was lost for the evening, my right leg decided to twist and I subsequently did a wonderful ballerina like spin and fall onto the turf! It was a graceful fall that had me on my ass in 2.5 seconds, though it felt as though it was 30 minutes of falling. Don't worry, the pictures were taken and I got three in the paper that night.
While I was at the chiropractor's office the next day demonstrating my latest and greatest dance move, complete with a quick little jogging demonstration (yes, I actually re-enacted the jogging in the Dr. office, she needed the whole picture!) the good doctor started giggling!
"What's so funny?"
"Oh, nothing... well, you. You're always having these accidents. I was just remembering the bike tires..."
"Oh, yeah, I forgot about those"
"Both of them blowing with in 20 minutes, scaring Amy (Age 4) from riding bikes"
Yes, that was funny. I decided to go on a bike ride with my sister and niece and my tire needed a little air. The tire looked a little dry and cracked, but I thought it was okay. I filled up the tires and went on my way... for about five seconds when my back tire blew. We called my dad to come pick me up and haul the bike home, when as we were lifting the bike into the truck, the front tire blew in my hands and rubber whipped my legs with the force of 65ppi escaping as fast as it can. Hilarious.
Being reminded of my 'accidents' gets me simultaneously riled up with indignation and hysterically laughing at the fixes I get myself in. The most famous being shutting my foot in the trunk of my car... with a box in my hand and being unable to move for 3 minutes. Yes, the tip of my foot, mostly my shoe, was caught in the lid of the truck as I slammed it down getting a heavy item from the trunk. I was using my legs to lift goshdarnit! That's what you're supposed to do! Sheesh.
I asked two my best friends this last weekend if they agreed with this Odd Accident Prone status. It's not everyday accident prone, or even clumsy, klutzy, or sloppy. Odd accidents with luckily no serious injury happen to me. Like the time I got stuck in the turnstile at the train station. That was bad timing to be sure. Walking closely behind my friend, already part way into the turn, I put my fare card in, walked forward, took the card out before the turnstile was activated for 'my turn' and it locked me one leg in, one leg out, unable to go backward or forward until I re-inserted my card. Luckily I only bruised my pride, and didn't lose a fare.. but we did miss the train we were trying to catch and had to wait for the next.
My friends, just laughed and said yes. They didn't offer up and evidence mind you, just flat out agreed. They couldn't keep track of the dropping of ice cream pints on my feet in stores, tossing pencils in the air and having them land literally IN my hand (I still have the lead mark to prove it... 8 years later), hitting my head on various parts of my car, or other peoples bumpers, or office furniture attacking me.
Even so, I still contest it is because I'm "accident prone" or "graceless", I think I just attract amusing situations. That's it.
Now watch your head, that ceiling is a dosey.
UPDATE: I recently remembered the day I punched myself in the face when I sneezed. What do you remember?
Saturday, July 17, 2010
That's a great idea we all thought. So we all got the chocolate cake. This time it came with a mango sorbet, which was also delicious... though I think the blueberry may have been better.
There were nine of us there and we all extolled the virtues of the cake... and the the two who decided to be rebels and order something different soon wished for a small taste of what we had in front of us.
We then hoofed on over to the Guthrie and made sure to catch a view of the city from their observation deck.
Considering it was 1000° and humid we didn't stay up there too long and we headed back to Jo's patio.
Somehow Jo and I ended up being up until 5 am without even realizing it. Too bad I had to get up early to head home for a Howk Family Reunion... Not So Much.
I made it, but it wasn't pretty.
Happy Bday to my BFF Jo and thanks again for letting us have our cake and eat it, too!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
"Did you know this thing can take pictures of me?"
Indeed... in fact let's try it out. Hold on a sec.
Now, she claims this is for business purposes. I'm so sure, just because she is a writer and needs something to write on. Whatev. I think it's because she wants to be as cool as her big sister.
Well, maybe she's killing two birds with one stone. Anywho, you can see that she and I are both staying very productive taking pictures and picking out new blog backgrounds all in the name of our professional careers.
There will be a new header sometime soon, too. Though I've been saying that for months now.
Oh wait, I was going to tell you about the tornados. They blew.
Them's the haps, peeps.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
The Right Now
Originally uploaded by playbsides
Photo By Michael Roeder - The Right Now
In my second tornado chasing weekend in a row, The Queen of Howktown pops in on old friends from Chi-town and left with few more friends and a different impression of Iowa. Mostly, don't go there unless my profession is officially changed to tornado chaser.
Update to come, so stay tuned!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
The Weekend of Awesome is in full force and it is only lunch time, yet I still have not acquired pants. Considering Southdale was next to where we had lunch, we decided to quick run in, get me some pants and go on with our day.
Macy's was the first store we saw, and we noticed they were having a big sale, so we buzzed in for a quick look... Let's just say the look was not quick and it wasn't until we visited 5 other departments that we made it to the pants. We tried everything from undergarments, swimsuits, shoes, and trenchcoats on before we even looked at them, in fact.
I had been looking for a new rain jacket, preferably blue, for a while now, and was excited to see the one that I had tentatively picked out on line on clearance at the store. BAZING!
By the time we got the pants, it was practically a grab and go situation. I ended up with some indigo blue Ralph Lauren jeans... which in normal circumstances I would have rolled my eyes at, but my sisters were helping my find things and the sales lady just LOVED "LARRRENNN" and forced her to bring them to me. The didn't look too bad... and they were $19... so BAZING! Pants. It's about dang time, too!
Finally! On to bigger and better things like DINNER!
We each had a different ginger ale or lemonade! Tasty!
The next day, Sara led us in water aerobics at the pool, then we relaxed:
Saturday, May 22, 2010
I had just enough time to to turn back grab my suitcase and head out again, and then as I was barreling down the road listening to Pomplamoose and Michael Jackson it occurred to me, that maybe, just maybe I had forgotten my pants.
I wasn't sure.
I remember taking my jeans out of the suitcase because I noticed they were dirty, but I didn't remember putting a clean pair in. Well, too late now... it would have to be a pants free weekend. After the 5K we were planning on lounging around the hotel... swimming, frequenting the hotel bar, and girl talking... who needs pants!
Until my dad called and said he was going to be in the area (on the same street actually) and had about an hour to kill... Did we want to get lunch?
Of course we did. So we rush back to the hotel, clean up, discover that I did indeed forget pants, that I can borrow a pair from Kylie, that we'll have to go shopping after lunch, and discover Kylie actually irons her t-shirts. Naturally, we made her iron ours, too.
Things that we learned at lunch:
- Ironed t-shirts are pretty nice to wear
- Art Supply stores are neat
- My dad loves The Container Store
- It's easy to get a song stuck in Kylie's head
- Sock Monkeys can save the day
- Sara carries a pocketknife at all times... just like my dad
- I throw the mash down on a banana... with my fist
The next question is... Will I ever Get Pants? Stay tuned to find out.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
That's when things started to stir in my brain. "Wait a sec... there is no reason we couldn't make this all work..." So I agreed to walk the 5k with my sisters... little did they know (or I know) what this last weekend would evolve into.
Two days before the weekend. I email Sara this:
- Perfect parking spot at the finish line
- Awesome weather
- We walked around Lake Calhoun
- Sara made mini egg bakes in muffin cups
- We all put our team name as The Rubdown in Howktown
- In the name of awesome we all went our own pace
- I decided to walk to a podcast of 'Wait Wait Don't Tell Me'
- My walk took the exact same time as the podcast
- I beat my old time by almost 10 minutes
- The weekend had only just begun!
Friday, May 14, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Friday, April 30, 2010
Supper: spaghetti and a lesson on making rubbings.
Morning hair, breakfast pizza, and a "good morning" call home.
A little morning worm hunting with Grandma and Aunt Sara.
Taking Aunt Sara's Godbaby Kate to her first garage sales.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
The Queen Mother of Howktown loves flying kites. She goes to kite flying festivals. To her it is... well I don't actually know precisely what it is to her, I'll have to ask her next year. I just know that she loves it.
I think this year, she thought she might be out of luck. We didn't have a big holiday get together, the grand kids weren't there, and it didn't look like there was going to be much wind (a shock for this area).
Never fear, mother! For though I may be a lazy child, I am not ungrateful! I will help you fly your kite!
Our attempts nearly failed to the point my mother would shake her head and start to walk back home!
"Nay!" I say " I will get this cloth in the air! Let me just adjust... er Re-tie, Yes! That should do it" I did that about four times.
Happy Spring, Mother.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Originally uploaded by Higgety
I see this on sunny mornings in Howktown. It makes me happy. Also, it reminds me of countless still lifes that I had to study/draw in art school.
Always I would wonder what stirred the artist to want to draw a tube of lipstick or a pear. When I see this in the morning, I get it.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Originally uploaded by Higgety
I lovva me onions.
Also, I took this picture at the Mpls farmer's market and just looking at it is making me crave veggies and summer.
Howktown plans on using more photos on this blog. Actually, we plan on re-instating photography as the national hobby... seeing as it used be our occupation, but kind of was set aside and ignored while we pursued other business. It's a shame really, cause taking photos is fun. Plus everyone seems to be doing it these days, so I better get back at it so I can say things like. "I was annoying wait staff with my photography while you were still watching Melrose Place... er the Original one!"
Anyway. Hope you like my onions. I sure do.
Friday, April 9, 2010
I didn't even see this coming, but this morning I got the email.
Sheikh Mahmoud Alzammar made you a beneficiary in his WILL. He left the sum of Three Million, and twenty-five thousand British Pounds (£3, 025, 000) to you in the Codicil and last testament to his WILL. According to him, this money is to support your humanitarian/ medical help/ orphanage activities and to help the poor and the needy in our society.I knew it! The Sheikh and I go way back. Yeah back when Dave (that's what I call him for short) were hangin' on the outskirts of the Emmerites talking about what we'd like seen changed in the world, he really identified with my western sense of French Fry importance. I'm really not surprised that he remembered me, but to this extent.. I'm flabbergasted.
I've just got this one for now... but rest assured. It's getting all presidential here in Howktown.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
I am laying on my side, my top leg at an angle, my arms all tangle in wierd configurations.I look over and say, "oh hey, I haven't seen you in a while""Hey, How are you! Any plans for your spam campout this year", the response."oh!", says the deep voice from above, "take a deep breath in now, and ouuuut." craaack. "that's a good one. So you're the one with the spam and camping?!
"Yes, Hulking Riley the chiropractic intern, I am the one.
and Yes, Dr. Brad, there are plans for this year.
Monday, March 29, 2010
There is no question that at the Howk House, SUPER is the only way to describe chocolate. As I mentioned before, there is no legal definition for that other use of the term Superfood, so it is well within my rights to declare chocolate SUPER.
But get this people, there is science and stuff that is going to back up my claim! Indeed! It has been published in a magazine (what we used to read before the internet, in fact before you said "I read it in on the internet, so it must be true." You said "I read it in a magazine....") that you can eat chocolate to loss weight! SUPER!
You can eat chocolate to reduce stress (Ah Doi!) SUPER!
Chocolate is a fruit (and not in that 'bacon is vegetable' way, it really is!) SUPER!
ON the grocery store my friends. Time for the chocolate diet. Howktown APPROVES! SUPER!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
This last weekend I decided I needed to venture outside of Howktown. I decided that I would, in fact, visit Ingvaldia. This should be an easy trip. I practically grew up in the town next to it, and my best friend lived in the same neighborhood when I was in high school. Plus, I'd made the trip a hundred times before.
I had grand plans of going to Target! Such luxuries are not mine in Howktown, the closest I can get is Walllbelch (I can't even say it). I would take my time getting there, stopping at the Co-Op on the way and be there in plenty of time to make it to the birthday party we planned to attend that night. Everything was going perfectly when the road I was meant to take was closed.
That's right! Remember the 10 feet of snow we had this winter? Guess what, it's melting. It has to go somewhere, and the river is damn near full, so that means your basement, corn field, or highway... which ever is closer (sometiems all three!).
I called up Sara and asked her if I needed to continue North and swing around and she agreed that I should... but then her husband piped in and offered closer alternative routes. There was arguing going on about topographical features that would result in optimal flood areas, but the hubby's route was assured, so I quickly turned around and tried it. No luck. I head back to where I came from and tried the next road, closed. I sighed and headed northwest towards the next town 10 miles away.
I came across a road that I remembered from childhood being a route that could get me where I wanted and we were far enough from the river that it might actually get me there! I took and drove... and drove... and became confused by the surroundings. There didn't used to be that there. Where did all these houses come from. Next I saw the road I wanted to turn onto was now an overpass with no entrance ramp! DRAT!
In a panic I called Sara and they assured me that I didn't have to turn around and just keep going. On faith I followed their instructions and was delivered to my destination ten minutes later. WHEW! So much for knowing my surrounding. I can't believe 15 years would make that much of a difference!
I wasn't the only out of the way road trip we made that weekend, and we made it to the birthday party just in time.