Stop Touching Things

"Miss! you can't touch the artwork..."
"He means you, too, G-ma"

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I like Silver Things - Like Toothpaste, oh and I'm Lazy.

I have silver shoes. They are like super shoes. More on that later.

Anyway, I was thinking about, you know, stuff and invariably I started to think about the state of the universe. I do it quite often and I'm often flummoxed at the importance of cultural and material things in our lives when you compare them to the expanse of our entire existence. I don't get mad, mostly curious.

Considering I am required to function in society on a daily basis, I try to not get all I <3 Huckabees (awesome movie) about it. In my profession I run across a lot of things that cause you to think about things... which reminded me of a post that I wrote about this very thing 4 years ago.

So I'm completely broke and near jobless walking around target like a diabetic in a candy store. So many things I need... paper towels, cat litter, a new toilet scrubbing brush... and so many things I want... Diet Coke. I would kill for a diet coke with lime. But none of it is for me, I am there with a friend.

"So, hey if you need anything let me know" he says. If there's anything I need? I'll tell you what I need. I need Miracle Max to make me a magic pill, that's what I need. I settle for toothpaste.

Walking down the toothpaste/brush aisle heading for my usual brand of Colgate Total (I somehow believe that this toothpaste has the power to be the Total Tooth Solution) I notice a new toothpaste on the shelves... I stop to check it out... mostly because of the slick silver box. Aquafresh E X T R E M E. My first thought. Give me a freakin' break. Extreme toothpaste? Okay, you had me with Cologate TOTAL... but Aquafresh EXTREME! Come on! But wait... there is more.

Underneath the name is the 'flavor' name of the is new member of Extreme products given to this world thanks to skate boarders worldwide (and other X-treme sports)...




This toothpaste not only claimed to be EXTREME, but it also was flavored with EmpowerMINT? What kind of crazy god like claims was this tooth polish claiming? Could it change the world? Change your out look on life? Get you that promotion to head dog washer?


I had to know. because not only that, but it claimed to have micro cleaning action! THis is way too much! Buy me the damn toothpaste! I want to have extreme teeth! I want feel this micro-foaming-cleaning action! But most of all... I want to be EMPOWERMINTED!

{this is the part about me being lazy... seeing as I just reposted an old post I think is funny instead of writing a new one.}

The funny thing is about a week after I started using this toothpaste, I got a call back on a job interview. I ultimately didn't end up getting the job, but I did decide from that point on not to wait for toothpaste to change my life and to just do it myself... So in a way, I was empowerminted.

Did I mention that I have TWO pairs of silver shoes?

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