Stop Touching Things

"Miss! you can't touch the artwork..."
"He means you, too, G-ma"

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Wait, you want me to eat what?

Speaking of tasting things, 5-6 years ago, I still considered myself a vegetarian. Oh, I had noble environmental reasons that I had acquired in my numerous conservation biology classes. I knew the number of gallons of water that was saved by one person avoiding meat, the nutritional benefit of reducing meat intake on your heart, liver, and cholesterol. I didn't have a problem with people eating meat, if they did it in a responsible way, but the problem was I was lazy... and hungry.

I have food allergies and limiting my diet even further proved to be an obstacle that I grew weary of after 6 or 7 years. My down fall was that my group of friends, by matter of attrition and natural change evolved from mostly women to mostly men. Red blooded, steak eating, American men. Men who had a side of meat with their meat.

Chris was the first to start and convince me that bacon was not gross if cooked in the proper way. He pointed out that you had to cook it at a lower temperature and not just cook everything on high until its burned. It was a slow process, but I started to accept that bacon was really vegetable, so its okay.

As you may be able to guess, I learned to accept bacon and beastie boys (another boy lesson learned) as a necessary part of a full life. I eat less meat, but I don't consider myself a vegetarian any more. Aside from the bacon, however, I didn't generally include pork as part of the dietary picture, and offal was out of the question.

So today, Ii find myself sitting on my patio while my boyfriend smokes three racks of pork ribs... for the second time in two weeks. Sure, his brother is visiting from Colorado, so you have to feed the guests their man food. Last week he had pork hocks and saurkraut. I tasted it, but I was wasn't overly enthused about it. Granted, I love a good day of grillin', so it is quite possible that I will be turned toward the piggy mess when it comes to rib. My friend Chris was aghast when I was frontin' on the ribs, but what I can I say? I like black berries and yogurt.

All this stuff, I can see a natural progression to, but then Doug suggested I try this:

Beef Tongue.

Ah. Sorry Doug, I don't like to taste things that can taste me back.

"But it's the tenderest piece of meat there is!"

Hey, I've seen langua tacos on the menu at the taco joints. I know people eat tongue... but in all honesty I'm a midwestern suburban girl. We don't eat tongue. Then the haughtier side of my kicks in and I think, "but I'm not like the girls I grew up with. I'm more daring, independent, and open minded"

Oh alright, I'll try it, but don't describe what I'm eating until after I've tasted it. I've eaten eel and octopus for God's sake, and midwestern suburban girls don't eat those things either. What harm could it do... right?

I'll have to keep you posted, as their are not many restaurants that serve tongue in the Farmland, MN. Though I have a feeling Doug's not going to give up on this one. It may be years from now, but I know their will be a day when I'll have chewed cow tongue, praying that their isn't a brain in there tasting me back, *shudder*

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