Morning Views

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Originally uploaded by Higgety

I see this on sunny mornings in Howktown. It makes me happy. Also, it reminds me of countless still lifes that I had to study/draw in art school.

Always I would wonder what stirred the artist to want to draw a tube of lipstick or a pear. When I see this in the morning, I get it.

Nun Yums, Yum nuns, or Onions

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Originally uploaded by Higgety
I lovva me onions.

Also, I took this picture at the Mpls farmer's market and just looking at it is making me crave veggies and summer.

Howktown plans on using more photos on this blog. Actually, we plan on re-instating photography as the national hobby... seeing as it used be our occupation, but kind of was set aside and ignored while we pursued other business. It's a shame really, cause taking photos is fun. Plus everyone seems to be doing it these days, so I better get back at it so I can say things like. "I was annoying wait staff with my photography while you were still watching Melrose Place... er the Original one!"

Or something.

Anyway. Hope you like my onions. I sure do.

Now that I'm a millionaire...

It turns out that the humanitarian efforts put forth by Howktown have not gone unnoticed.  My concentrated effort to make sure that chocolate is recognized as SUPER. My new "Chocolate and French Fry" diet plan for depression. My reliance on STREET SMARTS, because history is just DUMB... it has paid off... FINIALLY!

I didn't even see this coming, but this morning I got the email.

Sheikh Mahmoud Alzammar made you a beneficiary in his WILL. He left the sum of Three Million, and twenty-five thousand British Pounds (£3, 025, 000) to you in the Codicil and last testament to his WILL. According to him, this money is to support your humanitarian/ medical help/ orphanage activities and to help the poor and the needy in our society.

I knew it! The Sheikh and  I go way back. Yeah back when Dave (that's what I call him for short) were hangin' on the outskirts of the Emmerites talking about what we'd like seen changed in the world, he really identified with my western sense of French Fry importance. I'm really not surprised that he remembered me, but to this extent.. I'm flabbergasted.

I decided I should probably get some better plates to eat my fries and chocolate on, so I started spending the inheritance already. I'm sure once my check clears for transaction fees of $200,000 (a small fee considering the 3M I'm  getting in return) I'll start seeing the checks rolling in and these plates will be covering my dinning room table.

I've just got this one for now... but rest assured. It's getting all presidential here in Howktown.

The man who lives in Ingvaldia has many handles:

uncle burrito
uncle bee-due
uncle bandito

bee-due (by me)

the latest and greatest:

funkle bee-due.

the infamous SPAM cookoff.

straight from Ingvaldia.

I am laying on my side, my top leg at an angle, my arms all tangle in wierd configurations.I look over and say, "oh hey, I haven't seen you in a while""Hey, How are you! Any plans for your spam campout this year", the response."oh!", says the deep voice from above, "take a deep breath in now, and ouuuut." craaack. "that's a good one. So you're the one with the spam and camping?!

"Yes, Hulking Riley the chiropractic intern, I am the one.
and Yes, Dr. Brad, there are plans for this year.

I knew it!

We here in Howktown have always maintained that chocolate, was a SUPERfood. 
There is no question that at the Howk House, SUPER is the only way to describe chocolate. As I mentioned before, there is no legal definition for that other use of the term Superfood, so it is well within my rights to declare chocolate SUPER.

But get this people, there is science and stuff that is going to back up my claim! Indeed! It has been published in a magazine (what we used to read before the internet, in fact before you said "I read it in on the internet, so it must be true." You said "I read it in a magazine....") that you can eat chocolate to loss weight! SUPER!

You can eat chocolate to reduce stress (Ah Doi!) SUPER!

Chocolate is a fruit (and not in that 'bacon is vegetable' way, it really is!) SUPER!

ON the grocery store my friends. Time for the chocolate diet. Howktown APPROVES!  SUPER!

Not so routine road trips.

This last weekend I decided I needed to venture outside of Howktown. I decided that I would, in  fact, visit Ingvaldia. This should be an easy trip. I practically grew up in the town next to it, and my best friend lived in the same neighborhood when I was in high school.  Plus, I'd made the trip a hundred times before.

I had grand plans of going to Target! Such luxuries are not mine in Howktown, the closest I can get is Walllbelch (I can't even say it). I would take my time getting there, stopping at the Co-Op on the way and be there in plenty of time to make it to the birthday party we planned to attend that night.  Everything was going perfectly when the road I was meant to take was closed.

That's right! Remember the 10 feet of snow we had this winter? Guess what, it's melting. It has to go somewhere, and the river is damn near full, so that means your basement, corn field, or highway... which ever is closer (sometiems all three!).

I called up Sara and asked her if I needed to continue North and swing around and she agreed that I should... but then her husband piped in and offered closer alternative routes. There was arguing going on about topographical features that would result in optimal flood areas, but the hubby's route was assured, so I quickly turned around and tried it.  No luck.  I head back to where I came from and tried the next road, closed.  I sighed and headed northwest towards the next town 10 miles away.

I came across a road that I remembered from childhood being a route that could get me where I wanted and we were far enough from the river that it might actually get me there!  I took and drove... and drove... and became confused by the surroundings. There didn't used to be that there. Where did all these houses come from.  Next I saw the road I wanted to turn onto was now an overpass with no entrance ramp!  DRAT!

In a panic I called Sara and they assured me that I didn't have to turn around and just keep going. On faith I followed their instructions and was delivered to my destination ten minutes later.  WHEW! So much for knowing my surrounding. I can't believe 15 years would make that much of a difference!

Later Sara and I stopped for coffee and noticed a huge crowd at the bridge in town. So naturally, we joined them.

I wasn't the only out of the way road trip we made that weekend, and we made it to the birthday party just in time.